


Folding Buddies

by HM (HyperMint)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Japanese Culture, Male-Female Friendship, Natural Disasters, Origami, Pre-Relationship, Real Time Updates, paper cranes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-28 00:04:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6305641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperMint/pseuds/HM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miko has one year to complete one thousand paper cranes and John's decision to help her may end up giving them a new friend  and an insight into the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. March 20

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I have other stories, I know, but I always wanted to do something resembling a 'real time' updating schedule and I figured, 'why not?' I don't necessarily have to have much of a plot or anything already thought of in advance like I do with the Summer Contacts 'verse or even After Tomorrow. Both of which I'm still writing, by the way, so no panicking, please. This story - and what may or may not be a sequel, we shall see how things go - is not part of any series and stands alone. I also hope to explore a little more into Japanese culture, so any requests or suggestions would be welcome if you would like to see something included. 
> 
> Japan is still healing from the 2011 Sendai Quake and Tsunami and may never fully heal because of the huge scale of devastation left in the wave's wake. They are still mourning - as are we all - and support allows each day to pass a little easier, but it will never fully take away the pain. 
> 
> I know that there is another story about paper cranes in the fandom and I do like the story, but maybe I wanted to see more interaction between Miko and John. I've always wanted to write a story with them as the main characters because you literally don't have any if at all in the fandom unless you read it somewhere else. And it's not easy to find them, anyway.
> 
> Maybe I'm setting things up for Miko and John to get together in one of those rare pairings that I never actually thought I would have a preference for, but I have quite a few ideas of other stories that may come to pass, so ... Who knows.
> 
> If anyone is interested, I will also cross post to LiveJournal under HyperMint in weekly installments and may post to FF.net next year. I hope we all enjoy this little experiment of mine and that it spawns more Miko/John stories in the future. (You would think it's already happened, but oh no, my friends. I have looked.)
> 
> Disclaimer: Atlantis and other such recognizable things are not mine, but I really wanted a John/Miko story and apparently the only way I was going to get it was to write it myself. Creative/artistic license is used, though for no profit other than my enjoyment and those of whoever else is willing to read something like this.

John Sheppard didn’t normally notice things when not needing help in this week’s crisis, but it was a slow day – in his defense – so he really couldn’t help noticing Dr. Miko Kusanagi in the corner as she looked morose and unusually sad.

She wasn’t normally an active or loud person, but she normally didn’t look like she was facing an impossible task ahead.

Being the Military Commander of Atlantis meant that he had a duty to all his people in both the military and the civilian worlds and he was especially rankled when one of them didn’t seem to be enjoying the sunny day outside, so – naturally – he got up and made his way over to her to see what was wrong.

As he got closer, however, he noted the square of red paper in front of her as she stared down at it, a cup of what looked like tea cooling in front of her. “Hey, Doc,” he made sure to shuffle his feet slightly before getting close to her. A lot of civilians – and military personnel, for that matter – got jumpy when startled, so it was always good to remember to make noise when approaching someone from the side. Unless he either wanted to get shot or electrocuted. Possibly both at the same time.

She hadn’t seemed to hear him, so he slowly moved to sit across from her and the chair screeching as he pulled it back seemed to break her out of whatever spell she was under. “Oh. Colonel. Good afternoon,” she bowed slightly, before watching him with thoughtful brown eyes. “Did you require something?”

“Nah, just looking for something to do. Hey, I notice you’ve got something there,” he nodded at the square of paper. “Looks kind of interesting. Is it some sort of project?”

She followed his gaze back down and let out a soul deep sigh that he didn’t think he’d ever heard from her. “If you call it a ‘project’, then I believe so. I like to think of it as a goal, but I am not certain that I will reach it.”

“Oh, come on. You’re one of the most ambitious people I’ve ever met,” she would have to be to survive in McKay’s Territory for so long, “and I really think that you can reach this goal if you set your mind to it.”

“But I do not have infinite amount of time,” she sounded forlorn. “I am always running around fixing things that I cannot sit and work like I want to.”

“Aren’t you a senior member of the lab staff? I would have thought that McKay would have the newer minions running around instead of piling the work onto the rest of you.”

“I am,” she nodded, looking back up at him and absently reaching for her cup. “And we have to… babysit once in a while, but, even so, it is too much. I need more time that I do not have to complete my goal by next March.”

“Well, you’ve got a whole year to do it,” he shrugged, not seeing the problem. Even with the time constraints, she could work around her duties if the project was that important to her.

“But I can only work on it for so long and it takes time,” she reiterated. “I cannot hope to complete much by then and I only have ten finished already. Even if I do one a day, it would not be anywhere near enough to send home.”

John watched her thoughtfully, trying to figure out what, exactly, the problem was. “Why do you have to send this project home?”

Dr. Kusanagi took a breath and replaced her cup in favor of fingering the red square. “The earthquake and tsunami hurt Japan,” John wanted to hit himself upside the head for forgetting what happened just a number of short years ago. He and Richard Woolsey had fast tracked all the affected personnel back to Earth and reassured them that they were still more than welcome if they wanted back to Atlantis. Since then, some had transferred back to Earth, but Kusanagi was one of a few who still stayed. “The wave swept thousands of people away with little warning, and that leaves thousands of spirits lingering on Earth. My hometown has come up with a project with only a small fraction of the names of the victims and it is up to each house to come up with the correct amount of cranes to wish that their spirit finds peace.”

Of course.

John had heard of the concept of using paper origami cranes to convey wishes of healing or other such desires and there was the belief that the wish would come true if the magic number of one thousand was reached.

“Well, that’s … neighborly of you.”

“But I cannot meet that goal as it stands right now. It took almost two years to finish and even then, my aunt had to finish the rest. I had made the decision to start again, but I do not think I can do it now.”

“But you don’t seem like the type to give up so easily,” John frowned. Though, he had to admit, it did seem like a tall order. “And you did finish as much as you could in two years,” he added, trying to come up as encouraging and fearing he’d missed the mark. “That has to count for something.”

“Perhaps,” she heaved another sigh and flattened the square before her.

John watched as her fingers started to fold the paper and tilted his head in consideration. “You got another one of those laying around?” he straightened.

“Why?” she paused to blink up at him.

“Well… I don’t really have anything to do right now, so I’m going to learn how to do origami,” he shrugged. “If you want to teach, that is.”

She blinked again. “You… want to help me fold?” she didn’t sound like she much believed his offer.

“Why not? I get that it’s something that you have to do and I’m not trying to infringe on that,” he pacified, “but maybe you wouldn’t mind some help in getting to as close to your goal as you can. And you could teach me how to do origami, so – the way I see it – a win/win situation all around.”

She studied him thoughtfully for a few moments before reaching into her bag and extracting a light blue square. “If you are certain… You have never done origami before?”

“No, but I probably should have learned some years back,” he ruefully admitted. “It would have kept me out of some trouble that I sorely didn’t need.”

She gave him the square and unfolded her own to go over the crane making process step by step. John found her to be a patient instructor, all told, even though she seemed hesitant still, and he soon had himself a light blue paper crane. It was kind of rough, but John felt a satisfaction deep inside him as he stared somewhat proudly at it.

“Very good,” Kusanagi smiled shyly as she set her own down next to it. “Thank you, Colonel,” she stood to give him a ‘proper’ bow. “Your help is very appreciated.”

“Well, now, hold on,” he studied her crisper lines compared to the one he did. “It’s not exactly what I would call a paper crane worthy of display –”

“But it is only the first one,” she retook her seat. “It is to be expected that the first one not be perfect.”

Still, though…

“Can we try one more?” he checked his watch. 

“I’m going to have to run down to my office for some paperwork before long and I would kind of like to not hurry.”

This time, she extracted two darker blue squares and they did the folding together, he mirroring her, and they ended up with two more cranes.

“Fourteen cranes, now,” he sat back, satisfied.

“Yes,” she tilted her head at the four cranes on the table. “It is two more than I thought I would get to.”

“Yeah,” he smiled back. Another glance at his watch made him wince and he heaved his own sigh as he pushed his chair back to stand. “Thank you for the lesson,” he gave his own bow back at her and watched a smile cross her face, lighting it up with pleasure.

“You are a good student,” she praised, demurely deflecting. “It was no hardship.”

“Do you need help getting these back? I could help if you want.”

“No, I can do it, but thank you for your offer.”

One last smile and a tap on the table and he made his way out, whistling to himself and feeling pretty good.

* **Crane Count: 14/1000**


	2. March 21

About the same time the next day, John found himself back in the cafeteria.

It was such a good looking day outside – perfect for taking a Jumper to the mainland and just letting loose.

Unfortunately, his baby was under maintenance and not to be touched for another two days.

McKay kept trying to get to it, but the entire fleet apparently had to be maintained and the minions had to be babysat so who knew when his Jumper would get the attention she needed.

He ran his hands down his face and groaned.

He hated being grounded. He truly, truly did.

John was staring blankly into his somehow acquired vanilla pudding when a small noise made him blink and look up. “Oh, hey, Doc,” he straightened as he spied Kusanagi a few feet away. She had her tablet in hand and a plastic container in her arms, though not a very big one. It was maybe the size of a lasagna dish but a little deeper. “Did you need something?”

“Could I … sit here, too?” she looked around somewhat uneasily.

John looked around, too, and saw that every table had at least one person there, though none he recognized that worked in Kusanagi’s part of the science department. “Sure,” he figured she felt better with someone she just taught origami to almost twenty four hours ago. “Hey, you made some more,” she sat the container down and he could see two golden cranes sitting inside.

“Yes, two. I have sixteen, now.”

“Coming along pretty well, isn’t it,” he smiled slightly as she settled. “Well, good for you. I knew you could do anything you put your mind to.”

She settled her tablet to one side and pulled some paper squares from her bag, spreading the four out in front of her.

“Lunch break, huh?” he tilted his head at her.

“Dr. McKay is making the minions do most work,” she explained. “I am to stand by until needed. Dr. Zelenka is sure that I will not be.”

“You know you can call them Rodney and Radek, don’t you?” he watched her select another gold square and start folding. “After almost ten years, I think you can get away with that.”

“But I cannot,” she glanced up with a frown as if he should have known this by now. “I have not been granted that privilege by them, so I will continue to do as I have always done.”

“So someone needs to give you explicit permission for you to call them by their first name?” he eyed the paper and inched his fingers toward a light blue square.

“Yes,” she cut the light blue square a glance, but didn’t comment on his moving it toward him to start folding. “I wouldn’t presume my place.”

“Oh.”

Frankly, everyone who was in the first wave and managed to survive long enough to stay had long done away with the titles and just went for the first or last names. Unless they were military, but off the clock, they went by last name.

The fleeting thought to invite her to call him by his own name was immediately discarded since they were pretty much nowhere near familiar enough with each other to feel comfortable with it. Anyone else and he would do so, but – for all the time they’d been part of Atlantis – they had had little to no real interaction with each other before yesterday. It would be kind of awkward, to say the least.

“You are not outside?” he looked up to see her studiously concentrating on her crane, not looking back. “It is a clear day. You are not flying.”

“McKay’s mandated the fleet a temporary grounding.”

“Ah.”

He was still upset at that. And he really did some paperwork yesterday, so he was kind of at loose ends.

They worked for a little bit in silence until they had four more cranes in addition to the two already in the container.

“Twenty now,” John looked over the six as they sat in their ‘nest’. “Want to make more?”

“It is not good for you to do more than two at a time,” she shook her head, eyes down. “Your fingers are not used to folding yet.”

He understood and hadn’t really thought of it that way. There were a few things in the military that was best done little by little, too. Or there should be, anyway.

“Smart of you to point that out before I went overboard,” he admitted.

“It is easy to forget and keep going,” she lifted a shoulder. Sounded like she had the experience to back it up. And John couldn’t help remembering her admittance yesterday about not having been able to fold as much as she would like, so maybe it’s to also limit herself to get back into the folding routine.

“Well, maybe one day I’ll be able to handle two at a time.”

“It takes practice,” she didn’t look him in the eye as she packed the cranes away and took out her tablet.

John took it for the dismissal it was and stood, maybe he would go find Teyla for stick practice or something. “Well,” he smiled down at the contained origami birds, “maybe I’ll keep up with it and I’ll be churning them out in droves in no time.”

“Flocks,” she peeked up at him with a sort of small quirk of a smile on her lips. “Birds have flocks.”

He could fully admit walking into that one. “So they do,” he agreed, a smile on his own face as he stepped away. “So they do.”

** *Crane Count: 20/1000 **

 


	3. March 22

He _really_ hated being grounded.

He needed to remember to let McKay know that.

In contrast to the clear blue of yesterday, today brought with it fluffs of cloud and John wished he was up there with them in his Jumper instead of laying on the Spire balcony watching the fluffs roll by.

Heaving a put-upon sigh, he listened to the barely audible chatter through his ear piece and just watched the sky above him. John couldn’t bring himself to do much of anything else right now, which he should probably start doing before it got dark and midnight rolled around before he knew it.

Woolsey always made sure to harp on him about that and, while he did like the guy, being a politician kind of always made John that much more exasperated and more prone to avoidance.

For now, though, he was content to watch the sky – well, not content, per se – and dream of his next trip amongst them. If all went to plan, he would get the chance tomorrow.

If not…

He would get that far if he had to. On that note, however, he wasn’t above looming over McKay or one of the others to make them go a little faster.

There was a nice breeze, though, coming off the water of New Lantea II, the planet they’d found that had roughly the same seasonal times and day lengths after leaving Earth to return to Pegasus.

The mainland on this planet was much more explorer friendly, although the ‘earth sciences’ department of the City was still going there every few weeks to explore further. And speaking of every few weeks, he recalled the next supply run was on its way here now. It would probably be here next week if the weather held.

Which it was supposed to.

They’d had communications with SGC that said the thing left on time, so they would know if something came up. John had to grin at the idea that something would hold the supply ship hostage; in that case, all John would really have to do was to turn the entire science department of the City loose and just sit back and watch. There were a lot of necessities coming and coffee and chocolate was just some of them.

There was certainly no doubt in his mind that the scientists would wreak untold havoc to get their drug of choice and John would not stand in their way.

Thinking of all the treats on their way made him have a sudden craving for pudding and there was nothing else to do yet, so he groaned as he moved to stand and leaned against the rail to settle his equilibrium before moving back into the Spire to make his way to the cafeteria.

It wasn’t crowded this late in the afternoon, so he made off with three – yes, count them, three – pudding cups for himself and settled in the corner to enjoy his treat without putting his back to the room.

April was coming up fast, after all, and he felt old – well, maybe not old or unused considering his job – instincts push to the fore because of that. He didn’t much like April at all, though he refused to think why. Thinking of it would only guarantee the nightmares.

He pushed those thoughts away to concentrate on the room around him and it was only about ten minutes later that he realized Kusanagi was back with her cranes a few tables from him, her movements slow and thoughtful while five cranes surrounded her to watch her make another.

Almost without thinking about it, he got up again and moved toward her, “Hey, Doc.”

She looked up with wide brown eyes behind her large glasses and blinked, taking in his pudding before he slowly pushed a chair from the table with his foot and sunk into it.

He was scraping the remains from that cup when he realized that she hadn’t moved, frozen with her fingers still in position to complete the next step with wide eyes that she hadn’t taken away from him. “What?” he glanced around them.

Her gaze fell to his pudding and returned to his face, evidently having trouble coming up with a sentence. “You … have option of different table…” she uncertainly commented.

“Oh… did you want me to leave?” he suddenly felt like he was intruding on something that he wasn’t invited to – and he kind of was, since he’d just moved in without asking. Damn, he was too used to just sitting with people and not thinking twice. Kusanagi wasn’t his usual table partner, so of course she would question his being there.

She tilted her head thoughtfully before finally looking back down at her half-finished crane. “I… did not say that,” she said after a long moment where John was seriously asking himself what the hell he’d been thinking.

“But you didn’t say anything either way,” he pointed out.

“No… But I only meant to say that there are other tables…”

Oh, she wanted his reasoning for being there? His hazel eyes moved from her lowered head and down to the crane she resumed making. “Maybe I wanted to fold one,” he shrugged, not having any other explanation. “Or I can just watch. You do it very well, but then, I guess you would have the practice.”

She was silent as she finished and hesitated before choosing a light brown square. “I have almost thirty,” she told the table. “Just four more.”

“Okay,” John nodded, checking to make sure the pudding cup was clean before setting it and the other two aside. He took up a different brown square and started mirroring her movements as she began folding like the last two days they did this.

It wasn’t flying, but it was something to do and he didn’t mind. It didn’t matter much anyway, since he was immediately called off once he finished his two cranes and Kusanagi even let him place his in with the ones she made.

All ten of the origami cranes seemed comfortable when he left and he hadn’t realized his forgotten pudding until he swung by his desk to find them sitting on an out of the way corner and Major Evan Lorne puzzled as to how they got there.

** *Crane Count: 30/1000 **


	4. March 23

It was nights like this that made John debate with himself which he liked better: a clear stretch of blue or the Pegasus Galaxy stretched out above him in all its star filled glory.

Or maybe it was just the fact that it was the sky that made John itch to fly.

He’d finally gotten to the mainland this afternoon and McKay let him put the Jumper through her paces, and it was glorious. He was constantly reminded of the idea of flying being his drug and he couldn’t find it in him to find a better analogy, but this was one drug that he needed like he needed air to breathe.

It’s what got him into the Air Force, after all, and look where he was now.

He wouldn’t give this life style up for _anything_.

Even if it ended up being the thing that killed him.

He didn’t think he would mind it, actually.

But it was not a night to be thinking like that. The sky was too clear and the wind was too calm, the water surrounding the City lapping gently at the snowflake resting on its surface.

During the night hours like this, he could pretend that everyone had gone on vacation and that he was on the skeleton crew tasked with keeping an eye on things while they were enjoying themselves. He rarely met anyone else, really, when they could be inside somewhere instead of hanging out in the Spire besides the usual suspects. It was still a good night out as he made his way to the cafeteria as part of his rounds.

Even in the eatery, there was scant habitation to be seen – most probably gone to sleep for lack of anything else to do.

As for him, though, he felt calm and settled in his own skin in a way that came after flying after a long period of time being grounded. He was going to sleep well tonight, that’s for sure.

He was about to turn around to head to the Control room when his eye caught sight of a familiar container and two paper cranes on a table not far from him. The only difference being that Kusanagi was nowhere near it.

John looked around, but didn’t see her. It probably didn’t mean anything, he shrugged. She could have been called away for a moment and was more than likely on her way back for the cranes, but it didn’t seem… right to just have them be sitting there all by themselves where just anyone could walk over and mess with them.

A wave of protectiveness had him moving over to sit across from her seat to keep an eye on them because he knew how special Kusanagi’s project was to her and he’d even made some cranes himself, so he kind of had a personal involvement in her special project. He hated it when someone messed with his own projects and he refused to let someone ruin it when she was getting underway before she even broke one hundred.

The thought of telling him when she wasn’t going to be around her project vaguely flitted through his mind, but he dismissed it because they weren’t exactly friends and she probably wanted some sort of control over her crane project. And maybe he was kind of overreacting due to his own small number of cranes involved in her project, because it wasn’t exactly hopping in here at this time so she probably thought it was safe.

He could almost readily admit that he got overprotective when he got involved in a project – even if it was really someone else’s -, but it really wasn’t his business, was it? He wasn’t exactly invited to participate and he had no stake in it like she did. He was more the fringe back up – the members of the unit that are available to help, but never actually get to do anything. It kind of worked like that.

But they occasionally had some use and John didn’t really have to move on right now, so maybe she wouldn’t mind him sitting at her table until she got back.

That was his story right up until McKay called him twenty minutes later to see if he knew where Kusanagi was and that she wasn’t answering his calls.

“Just calm down, McKay,” he stood to take another look around and see if he missed her somewhere.

 _“No, I will not ‘just calm down,’”_ his best friend was probably waving his arms around by now. _“Who knows what kind of trouble she’s in! Do you have any idea where she might be? I ask because there are quite a few spots she might be in that have trouble connecting and I really need to look into doing something about –”_

“Rodney! Would you just relax for a minute? I have her stuff here, so she couldn’t be far away.”

 _“Where are you?”_ he demanded.

“Cafeteria, why?”

There was silence in his ear for a few minutes before Rodney came back, _“There’s someone on the balcony near you. That-”_

“It’s probably Doc, see? She’s fine.”

_“But I –”_

“Ah! Let me handle it. Maybe the battery ran out in her ear piece or something.”

_“What? But –”_

He cut him off before he got too invested in his answer and heaved himself up with a sigh to go check to see if Kusanagi was out on the balcony like McKay said and, sure enough, she was standing at the rail staring out at the water surrounding the City.

“There you are,” he puffed a sigh as the tension left him. “Had me worried for a second there,” John explained as he took in her profile. While the lights were on, there were still shadows, especially with the light behind them. Moving closer, he noted her grip on the rail and frowned at the white knuckled hold she had. “Everything okay?” he frowned deeper as he stopped a few feet away, also beginning to notice her slight trembling. “Doc?”

At first, he didn’t think she would answer, but there was a sudden exhale that sounded kind of wet and an answer just a moment later. “How could something so… so…,” she tried to find a word and failed, “so… be so… dangerous? It is just water,” she never looked at him as he stared at her. “I have lived with water my whole life and it was never… something to fear. It was something to enjoy, revere, something that was and always has been there…I do not understand.”

John followed her gaze out to the water around them and knew she was thinking of the reason she took on such a huge project. He leaned his elbows against the rail and let his hands dangle. “Water is… certainly something to enjoy,” he wasn’t sure how to really answer her, even though she was not only a scientist but a native Japanese who had grown up surrounded by elements. “But it’s not always fun and games. The earth that we grew up on – and every other Earth in any galaxy – thinks for itself and we can’t really do anything to stop it.”

He let that sink in for a moment before letting out a deep sigh. “It’s not just water, either, but wind, too. A number of years back, I traveled through a town that had recently been ripped apart by a tornado. And it’s something I’d seen before – after bombings. But you just sit in the middle of places where whole buildings – businesses, _homes_ – used to be and you can’t help but think, ‘A little breeze did all _this_?’ It’s difficult to really grasp the idea that something that you encounter every day can probably kill you because you don’t understand how it can be dangerous. You grow up knowing that some aspects of water are dangerous, but you’ve never actually witnessed the aftermath of a tsunami and so you go in thinking ‘how bad could this be?’ ‘What damage could a little wave or a little breeze do?’ Because that’s all you really know and it … it throws you for an absolute loop when you realize that… you don’t know everything, let alone the scale of devastation that natural forces can create. It’s never entered your mind before and now that it’s happened,” he shrugged, “you can’t un-think anything about it. It’s always going to be there in your head whether you want it to be or not. It… it just happens.”

He finally fell silent, not sure if he was helping or not, and they just stood there for a little bit before he eventually told her about McKay looking for her.

He didn’t look at her as she moved back inside, following well after her to return to the table where she simply sat back down and began folding. John simply sat across from her and took the other two squares, copying her movements.

They didn’t look at each other or speak again.

** *Crane Count: 36/1000 **


	5. March 25

The next time John saw Kusanagi, it was a couple days later in the labs.

Off and on, he’d thought philosophical thoughts about what he’d said and he most definitely understood her … state of mind.

It had been as he’d said to her about the tornado’s aftermath.

There he’d been, a young Airman who’d seen hell on earth several times over, who’d been through his own share of bombings and who’d also done the bombing.

But he’d never actually thought about a tornado’s aftermath until he’d seen it for himself.

Until he’d been able to touch and smell and hear and feel what had happened, that he’d sat down on what was left of a front stoop and shook his head.

There’d been no explosives involved. No tactical advantage. No warning.

No differentiation between military and civilian, the good guys and the bad. Young and old. Man and woman.

Just… wind. Let loose on an unsuspecting town in the middle of nowhere.

‘How the hell can a windstorm do this much damage?’

And he never forgot it.

So, yeah. He did understand where she was coming from and it was an utter shock when that summertime breeze you remember flying kites in as a kid suddenly turned into this vicious killer with little to no warning. That was enough to rattle anyone.

Even him.

The day he stopped being rattled, shaken or stirred – no pun intended – would be the day that his luck would finally run out and he wouldn’t fight it if that were the case.

So, anyway.

John was hanging around Rodney’s desk when he saw Kusanagi flitting around with her notepad and pen. He watched her check someone’s math before landing at her desk to slump on her stool with a slight sigh and decided that Rodney’s empty desk wasn’t going anywhere before hesitantly making his way over to her. “Hey, Doc,” he smiled uncertainly, catching her temporary frozen response with a wince. “How’s that crane count coming?”

“Well,” she unfroze, but didn’t look at him as she lowered her head. “I have made two already.”

“Cool.” They stood in awkward silence for a moment. “Did you need any more help?”

“No. But I will keep it in mind for later,” she didn’t outright dismiss him, which actually kind of made him feel better.

“Well, I’ll be around if you need more.” Another period of awkward silence passed before he blew out a breath. “Look, Doc,” he stepped closer, but kept enough distance between them. “Did I cross some sort of line the other night? If I did, I apologize.”

She was already shaking her head. “No,” she swallowed. “It was not. I… I still do not understand very well, but it … I am… relieved that I am not the only one who does not understand.”

“That’s good,” a smile came easily to him once he made sure that she was genuine and not trying to save his feelings or anything. Which would be a nice gesture, of course, but would not help him any and would probably only serve to make him feel worse. “I’m glad you got something out of it. I don’t know if any of us will ever really understand, though, but maybe you just have to roll with it.”

“Maybe it is not something easily answered,” she bit her bottom lip. “Nor can we find one that would fit.”

“It could just as easily be a spiritual thing,” he shrugged. “Soul searching or something.”

She made a noise in the back of her throat and he decided to leave it there, ear catching McKay’s approach as the Canadian seemed to be ranting at someone which wasn’t unusual.

“See you later,” John rapped a knuckle on her desk and managed to catch a slight bow in return as he made his way back to Rodney’s desk.

* **

He saw her again after lunch and before dinner, the snack seekers comprising the crowd around the cafeteria when he caught sight of her near the balcony/outside patio.

She was sitting with her usual ‘origami equipment’ – as he’d come to recognize; plastic container, origami paper – with #37 and 38 sitting in their ‘nest’ at her elbow. Kusanagi was evidently trying to decide the color of the next crane out of the four squares in front of her when he stopped by.

“Can’t decide, huh?” he didn’t stand too close beside her, but she still tensed.

“… Perhaps,” she stared at her squares. “I am running low on this one,” she tapped a yellow square, “and this,” she tapped a light green one.

“I see,” he nodded, having dealt with similar problems. “Have you ordered them for the Supply Run?”

He didn’t know how he knew that she looked thoughtful if she wasn’t looking at him, but he did. “I have patterns,” she finally said. “And other colors.”

“Okay, well, what’s your favorite one? Out of the squares you brought with you today?”

She picked up a small manila envelope and took out three other colors.

“That brown one looks nice,” he looked between the ones she held and the ones in front of them. “And that light red one. How many are you planning on making right now?”

She was silent before deciding, “Four.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to offer his help, but his thought a couple nights ago came back to him. It wasn’t really his project, because she didn’t invite him to participate.

“Brown, light red, light blue, dark green,” he decided. “But I wouldn’t want to impose my will on you or anything. Your project, after all.”

It didn’t actually occur to him that he’d willingly decided to help less than a week ago, but he’d needed something to do and now he kind of didn’t and he didn’t know what to make of the vague lost feeling that wiped through him at that realization.

“That would make 42, right?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

“Keep up the good work, then.”

** *Crane Count: 42/1000 **


End file.
